Still doing things like sacrificing for nothing? Or do you have to sacrifice someone now for something?
What are you doing exactly, what makes you think I need more money, hell, I don’t need that especially to see a man collapsing piece by piece just to get more. Do you know how I feel about that?
I think that’s not your main purpose back then as I remember it only few things about kids, bon jovi and what all guys want (from a girl). A really simple dream. Which then makes me think why this guy can ever be here anyway. For me then.
But, my God, why you are doing this, putting everyone else in jeopardy. Have you think about your mother? I know a mother is also a woman, so she will have many wants, but you should be able redirecting her wants since I don’t know if this is what she actually expect from his son. Not to mention you doing it for me (as a reason). My god you are her smart son, although she wanted you to success, but she definitely not wanted you to be this dirty. Do you want to throw down your mother? and me? Yes, you’ll die for me many times, but is it necessary to do? Think and feel, throw off your prejudice on me. What is so wrong about me that makes you want to die? Do you want to lose that much for me, you don’t even know me. What, you can see me? You can’t even see yourself.
I know I don’t want to see you like this. I know you don’t either and if you think it’s all because of me, I’m sorry. What, you want to blame me because I’m not stopping you to leave that day when your friend came and force you to go meeting? That time, it’s not about money, it’s not about me either, it’s about you and your want. Well, I don’t really know what you want since we never have enough conversation. But I think the meeting will do you no harm. Then, why suddenly you do everything for me, this complicated? Which one in our part of life that ever stated you and me actually ever have any connection. So, finally you realize that you just can’t run when you have accepted the invitation without my noticed. Those invitation to stay for a period of time and interfere with my life. And I finally realize why this guy can ever be here.
For me, for stay. I am shock, for this far you’ve done. Do you know that taj mahal is built for the king’s dead wife? I’m almost lost my life back then, an NDE. And no, don’t expect me to survive because I think of you, I just think something is wrong. Its f**king wrong, something I need to do. My god I just want to say we have problem, when I decided to drop by to check where you live. We, not you not me. I cannot solve the problem alone, no one want to, no one care enough. Besides, its about you and me not anyone else. Woman is vulnerable even when they don’t expose to a problem. My god do you know that people came to me to be part of a problem not solution. Everyone. And they think that is my fault, because I don’t share. But how can I share, none of them with good intention, just drop a while and hearing things and make assumption that this girl has problem with broken love and prejudice and expect me to be something else because they never know me from the first time. Broken love? They don’t even know a shit about love that make them think it can be broken. You are the only one that brave enough to go so far for me, one thing you do for me also, you scare off other guys. What about that for a love?
What, you stay for me because all this time you think I’m crazy about you? Do you trust that words of mouth and making it as your primary reason? Wouldn’t the things you do for me should be the only reason? But what are those exactly? I know somehow you trust me right? You know I never mean anything harm to you. Vice versa for me.
Do you know what you lose when you choose to be complicated? It’s your simple things that support your life. Our religion said about simplicity, please
follow it but not to solve a problem. A problem should be solve wisely.
Before this came to surface, the only thing I want to see from you is you happy with your life. Man I feel so relieve to see you look happy with your new family. Then I think maybe the problem left only on me. Now, after all I know, I don’t know. Basically I’m confused but I don’t want to go desperate.
I think you have a better chance than me, I can’t move a shit, and everywhere people don’t have good intention only prejudice. I refuse to see you before also because I know you don’t have good intention on me, the influence is so bad people can’t see anymore. My parents don’t have good intention also, they’re the one who give me the ring. They will make sure everything go on as planned. So, why would I expect it from you and anyone else? Care is BS but I surprise they dare to mention it. To see you forced to go that far, I think I cannot trust anyone now, not yet. After all they’ve done and I’ve done, why would I? Neither can you I supposed, but you’re a man so wouldn’t be that bad. Believe me, your simple dream is precious, don’t throw it away to a more complicated life. I fight for it. People lose dream, then lose hope, then their faith, then reality is the king. Why would we deserve to get more when we already lose so many? We even will have to lose big in the near future if we don’t do something about it, but yet, we keep on losing things. You see, the idea to not letting us see each other is because I have control over you and you have control over me. Can’t pretend that is not true though, they know we’re not that bad, we care about each other. They just doesn’t want the problem to go away that’s all, they want to ruin our life.
That’s not made from human doesn’t it?